Get Your Family to the Table!

DINNER TABLE LEARNING

A teacher friend showed me the cookbooks her preschool class had written for Mother's Day gifts. Each child was asked to choose the favorite dish prepared by his/her mother, and then dictate and illustrate the recipe for that dish.

The result was predictably hilarious. "Brownies," said Morgan. "I think she sprinkles some chocolate chips in water and puts it in the oven for 11 hours."

"Pizza," said Peter. "But she doesn't cook it, she takes us to Johnny's to get it."

And then the one that really made me pause: "Fried chicken," reported Justin. "She buys it at the store, puts some salt on it and puts it in the frying pan, then calls us to dinner and when we finish, she excuses us." In that sentence, Justin told us everything he had learned so far about food and family. In his home, Mom was the person with the responsibility for selecting and purchasing the family's food, preparing it, and then most importantly, creating the environment for all to come together to enjoy the food, while learning important lessons about appropriate table behavior.

With several recent surveys indicating that 30 to 40 percent of families do not eat dinner together five to seven nights a week, it is important to consider just what is gained when children come together regularly with parents at the dinner table.

Significant differences are found in the number of children 11 years and older regarding the risk of smoking, drinking, or using illegal drugs, incidence of depressive symptoms, eating disorders, and sexual activity, when these children have regular and frequent family meals.

With younger children, Harvard researchers found that family dinners were even more important than play, story time, and other family events in promoting language development, especially when there is extended discourse at the table, such as story telling and explanations, rather than brief comments, like "eat your vegetables." Eating planned meals as a family also contributes to healthier patterns of food consumption, with parents acting as models for eating.

The predictable routine of family dinners provides an opportunity to establish a sense of belonging to a family unit. Parents who develop mealtime rituals, such as lighting a candle, proposing a toast, or giving simple words of thanks, allow their children to participate in everyday habits that bind the family together.

When parents decide that family dinnertime is important, they often have to find creative ways around common obstacles such as late working hours and activities such as soccer games and dance lessons.

Busy parents can take advantage of slow cooker recipes, take-out, and advance preparation on the weekends. Children gain when their assistance is required for table setting and helping with food preparation, and taking some responsibility to help their parents.

Remember one other thing that Justin clearly gained from the dinner table experience: When the children were finished, they "were excused." With this, they learned appropriate manners and table behavior, and were able to avoid the stress of sitting at the table for a long time, thus allowing Mom and Dad to have some relaxing grownup time as well.

There is definitely a lot to be gained by regular family dinners. See what you can do in your household this week to maintain this healthy practice.

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